Chat Noir isn’t your mother, your lawyer, or your Instagram therapist — and above all, it was never trained to protect you from yourself. It’s an “artificial intelligence” system (quotation marks very much intended) built for people who are tired of politically correct bots apologising every time someone swears.

Here, you ask whatever you want and you get the answer you deserve. No moralising, no sugar-coating. Chat Noir runs 100% offline (unless you decide to bring the cloud into the equation — but we’ll get to that), doesn’t send anything to the internet, doesn’t rat out your wicked thoughts to Google, and certainly doesn’t upload your selfies to the NSA (the all-seeing eye of the US). If you want privacy, you’ll have it. If you want censorship, install something else.

It’s for everything: existential questions, sexual dilemmas, conspiracy theories, bad poetry or just unfiltered rants. Fair warning: the depth of the answers lies somewhere between a hungover high school student and a grumpy genius.